Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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