Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
