He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
