I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"