I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live