I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job