I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
