the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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