He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize