Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize