just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
