I think i sorta joined a cult last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
