Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
