I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
