Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize