he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
