Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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