ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
