dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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