Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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