sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
