Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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