your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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