they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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