It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
