i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize