Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
