Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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