My brain says no but my pants say off.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
