I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize