three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
either way he was missing a nipple.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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