OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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