I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
