"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
