He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
