it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
