i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
