you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
