Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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