I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
