But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
