trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
