At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
