You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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