Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
