Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
