Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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