Soap is not a condiment
I just threw up on my dentist
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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