guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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