CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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