Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
