So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
