now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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