How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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