I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize