the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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