Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
