yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My dick has a subreddit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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