I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
FUCK WHALES
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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