I wanna bring you to show and tell
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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