i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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