im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
