I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
