I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
