Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
