Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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