let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
