jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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