Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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