dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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